Saturday, October 5, 2013

An Impressive Day

Soccer Kids

An Impressive Day

Today marked the first time I ever saw Zion, my youngest son, nervous about impressing his Mommy. I had the privilege of watching him compete in a soccer match and couldn't have been more proud. He zipped around the field and skipped over the opposing team like a little pro.

But I couldn't help notice the awkward little grin he tried to hide on his tiny round face. You know, the kind of smile a boy brandishes when he's trying to impress a little girl that he likes? Yeah, that was the moment I knew he was trying to impress his Mommy. And in spite of the small mistakes little kids make when they're playing in a competitive game, it worked; he impressed me.

I am always tickled to see how much taller he stands when he puts on his uniform and struts around the house. His inquiry of, "How do I look Mommy?" never ceases to amuse. He impressed me with his awesome team work skills as he made great efforts to keep the ball among his team mates at all cost. I was blown away by the sportsmanship he showed when he stopped to help a fallen opponent. I was awe-stricken to see just how much fun he had simply running around kicking a ball, regardless of how many times he stumbled or fell.

In short, I loved how much it meant to have me cheering him on along the sidelines. All was well with the world for one hour on a Thursday evening as my little boy took center stage for the most important member of the audience; Me.

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Follies of a Teenage Fantasy


The Follies of  a Teenage Fantasy

When I think of all the things I could have done with my life and all the feats I could have accomplished, none can come close to my position of being a mother. In short, I am the mother I always wanted, or at least I try to be. 

This is an interesting phenomenon because as a teenager, I actually never saw myself having children or even getting married. I envisioned myself as being a proud product of the Cosby family by osmosis (no actual Cosby upbringing required). I fantasied about being single and having an awesome career (not sure how I would accomplish this because I never imagined going to college).

I would see myself  pulling into the cobblestone driveway of a really nice home with a strong majestic wooden door and crisp green ivy creeping up the side walls. The neighborhood, a beautifully manicured community and my lawn is immaculate (again, how am I supposed to pay for all of this high living , since I never imagined owning a business or working in a particular field? Go figure,lol).

In my fantasy, I am hopping out of my convertible BMW, leather attache' case in hand. I can see myself opening the door to a happy Golden Retriever whose leaps and wagging tail greet me at the door. I can see myself taking off my ridiculously high heels with a healthy salad bowl full of leafy greens in hand. As I plop down on my over-sized dark leather sofa, I turn on my T.V. to watch the Cosby Show. And this concludes my long day at work, whatever that entailed, lol.

The fantasy stopped there because my mind would not allow me to imagine beyond that point. As a teenager, the only thing I knew was that the image for my adult life was picture perfect for me. When I think about it, it is a little sad that I lacked  instruction on how to bring this fantasy to fruition. No direction to set goals or plan for my adult journey.

Fast forward about 5 years and I am married to an amazing man who has made me his most prized possession and I am  holding my first born daughter. I can't tell you when I abandoned my fantasy of being a  single, independent woman; but I can tell you the day I knew I was meant to be a mother.

Holding that little person in my arms brought such a completion to my search for purpose. It was so real and effortless, that it was almost scary how simple it was for me. As I went on to bring 6 other priceless lives into this world, I have never looked back from that day. 

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